my journey as an artist begins coloring and painting the walls of the small apartment we used to play new-family at. i remember the feeling of wanting to express myself on a “canvas” whichever i could find.. it felt like it was for me to add little, big, or odd things.. then it all just stayed as a passive trait of mine.

Years passed finding myself graduating from the university with a Science degree. And even though my life as a successful scientist(engineer) was coming to fruition my motivation and biggest reward was: seeing others experiencing the product of my creativity.

I was, around 2009, looking down from the 28th floor of the most prestigious building in Downtown Orlando. Apartment, which I bough with only 21 years of age. And even though I had everything anyone could ever want, the heaviness of not knowing what-to-do-next hit me every afternoon after work, for a few years.

The best view possible felt extremely empty and meaningless. I began an internal battle, against time and myself. Battle which I believe i was born into / destined to confront. i, now believe to have chosen it myself. And I had my confirmation into battle the moment I broke someone’s heart.

But then as karma strikes it was me. A few years later there was my “corazon de niño(child’s heart)” strangled to just a dimmed but loud continuous scream for it not be let go. The I, i once were, just completely seized to exist as if it never was.. the mental and agonizing physical pain lasted for years.

In every way it felt like I was in pure hell, the end of the world, my world. No amount of money or absolutely anything could get my pride, confidence, and trust for .. me.. back. People sometimes think they could understand or even empathize with others suffering, but i, without doubt, know there is absolutely nothing more horribly painful and difficult to endure.. after all, is all relative.. but i have lived and experience so many difficult and painful things to know nothing feels worst than not seeing more-than-pure-black ahead of you. not seeing any future, dreams, or goals.. just nothing. The anxiety derived and accumulated from days, months, years of that is plain unbearable.

In every personal way, I was re-organizing myself while getting to know this new me who had yet to find the medicine i desperately needed; true forgiveness. to truly and naturally forgive. and when I did, one thing at a time, day by day, i got better. While, discovering the most amazing collection of experiences, music, ideas, dreams, and most importantly a clear motivation to find real solutions for me.. and you.

I/i promised myself, to become hope for the hopeless. To be filled with courage and to be virtually fearless in the face of any situation. To always do the correct and not the right/wrong. To find impositiviliedades when to meditate and find solutions to achieve the impossible for the benefit of others. To never work for money again, but to make the difference in extraordinary ways; even when many might yet not agree or understand. To have a well defined life project to follow. To never let my limits be known and my efforts be my own. To never stop trusting us (humanity). To find heart where there isn’t. To not feel pity, but instead be compassionate and actually do something about it… To just try, not to think I/i’m broken.

i am now proud, daily, of not giving up on that mission while i slowly but surely complete that project. hoping to succeed for all without exception.